Gabriel opened the closet to reveal a terrible new foe.
“OH MY GOD!” said Billy.
“It’s… IT’S….. ADORABLE!” said John.
A tiny brown puppy with huge blues eyes stared at the boys from the darkness of the closet.
“Come here boy!” Terry squatted down and beckoned to the tiny ball of joy. It ran up to him to receive pets, only to grotesquely bulge into an abomination as soon as it was touched.
“Uuuuuuh!? Wha…” Terry said, as the puppy exploded, blasting him back several feet past the other two boys. As they looked to the closet in horror, two dozen even cuter puppies ran towards them with love and joy in their eyes, eager for pets.
“Agility and teamwork training!” said Gabriel. “You have to heard them back into the closet without touching them!”
“But this is terrible! Please Gabriel, make us fight anything else!” said Terry. “Nobody wants to see puppies explode!”
“Then I guess you had better submit your ideas for the Summer Of Suffering contest!” said the voice in the sky.
“Wha… what?” said Billy. Travis broke through the fourth wall to kick you in the ass to get you to submit your ideas!
Hey everyone, unless you want to force us to draw exploding puppies that fill you with nightmares for years to come, then submit those ideas for our summer contest! There is still time to enter, but be fast! The webcomic is a harsh mistress, and it demands sacrifice. Here is how to enter:
1.) Answer these questions! What does your monster look like? Perhaps it is slimy, scaly or hairy. Maybe it has seven arms! Answer this question with three to four sentences.
What is its strength? Perhaps it eats boulders, breathes fire or even vomits bears. That would be awesome. Answer this question with one to two sentences.
What is its weakness? Maybe it has allergies, a crippling fear of water or a dysfunctional marriage. Answer this question with one to two sentences.
What’s it’s weird quirk? Does it speak in haiku? Does it faintly smell of lavender? Does it have a degree? One to Two sentences will do.
Bonus consideration for a sketch! (It doesn’t have to be good, just let your inner artist shine!)
2.) Email it all to email@example.com
3.) Wait while Nick and Travis score the submissions and pick the best! Disclaimer: At the sole discretion of Nick and Travis, rated R etc. monsters will be rejected (i.e. No tentacle dick monsters!)
In other news, we are excited to respond to our fans with fanmail wednesdays! Feel free to drop us a line with any question or comment, and we will answer it! Here is our fan message for this week:
This time, we decided to play the final round of the game with a special optional expansion called “Escape from New Caprica.” In the show, the humans settled on a new planet (that they named New Caprica), but then the robots found them and oppressed them until the humans got their shit together to rebel and escape in the form of an awesome season finale space battle which is best expressed in this music video on youtube:
Unfortunately, the board game equivalent was the longest and most painful gaming experience of my life, and I wasn’t even sad to see humanity extinguished (we lost) because it finally meant the game was fraking over.
See you next week!