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I had an excellent dream this morning. So excellent in fact that I feel the need to turn it into a short story and share it with all my friends and family over the internet. I call it ‘Vegeta Dream’ because my actions in this dream are best described by the character Vegeta. For those of you who don’t know who that is, you can think of him as an evil Superman.

Vegeta Dream:
I walked alongside some of my friends in a depressing barren small town. I am in a group of settlers that were sent to a shitty planet to make a colony. It looks like a run down old west town, with half built buildings and roads made of mud. There is some nice grass through. As I walk I see two large Boeing passenger jets fly overhead. ‘Fucking alien invaders!’ I thought to myself. Although they look like passenger jets I know that they are actually space ships, no doubt carrying an invasion force to conquer our shitty little old west colony. I decide that I can’t possibly stand for this, so I leap into the air and fly after them. After a neat flying chase scene I get close enough to the first spaceship to see it more clearly. It looks a lot more like a spaceship up close.

I wondered how I would get inside it, but I found an airlock near the front. I bang on it and yell ‘Help! Let me in! Help!’ There are some people on the other side that freak out, and they let me in. Suckers! As soon as I am inside I shoot energy beams from my hands into their chests, killing all three of them. They look like humans, but I know they are aliens. I look to my right down a short corridor to where I know the cockpit is. I consider going there to crash the spaceship, but then I look to the passageway on my left. I suppose it is reasonable to give these guys a chance, I will explore a little bit and see what they are about before I kill them all. Yes, perfectly reasonable. I walk about acting like I belong there, I look just like them so nobody questions me right off the bat. I find a room that is build sort of like a lecture hall, with nice wooden bleacher style sitting. People are taking their seats to listen so I sit down too. Turns out to be something of a mission briefing, and they are describing how they are going to collect native life specimens for study. There is a hologram of a clear capsule looking thing that swoops down and scoops you up. Yep. Fucking alien invaders, I knew it!

Clearly the best thing for me to do is go to their engine room and screw up the engines so the whole place blows up. So I leave that room and start looking for the engineering section of the ship. A group of soldiers rush by me in the hall. I rationalize that someone must have found the people I fried at the airlock. I walk right past them but one guy at the back realizes that I don’t belong and he breaks away from the pack to chase me. I run down the hall and he chases me, and I lead him into some sort of gymnasium room. He tried to fight me, but I just kick him in the chest and he flies across the room. I taunt him that I am going to blow up his ship, and run off to continue my search for the engine room.

Then I found it! There was a long line of what looked like factory workers. They were lined up to go through some kind of security check point, they are checking ID’s and searching people and the like before they let them near the engines. I run past them and rush the gate. Somebody sees me and sets off an alarm, then a gate starts to lower over the entrance. I try to run fast enough so that I can slide under it, but I am to late and it closes right before I get there. The first gate that comes down is like an iron portcullis, like on a castle. As soon as it is in place, it activates a purple forcefield. And THEN after that another barrier comes down. It looks like a big plate glass window so I punch it a few times. It is WAY harder than a plate glass window, but I did break off a chunk.

By now security has caught up to me and there is a row of military types points guns at me. They tell me that the barrier is some kind of polycarbonate diamond laced super enforced unbreakable blah blah blah sort of material. ‘How can you possibly break it?’ they ask me sarcastically. I pick up the chunk off the floor that I had punched off and hold it up. ‘I will break it like THIS!’ I grit my teeth at them and crush the bit of super material with my bare hand, sending little specs of it flying everywhere. To their looks of astonishment I spin around and fucking SPEARHAND my entire arm through all three of the barriers. The forcefield burns my arm like hell, but I drag it though cutting a small doorway for myself. I feel them shooting me, but naturally I am focusing my chi to create an energy barrier around my body, so they don’t hurt me. I crawl through the hole I made in the barriers and rush up a big steel ramp to the engine.
However it doesn’t look the way I expected. When I get up there is it actually a huge circular bed, with nice white sheets and big pillows everywhere. It is then I notice my cat Milo from when I was a kid. He is mostly white with orange stripes and a wet pink nose. I forgot that he was here, so I sit down to pet him and play with him a bit. He purrs and presses against my check with his wet nose and it is adorable.

Then I woke up.

P.S. I never actually had an orange cat named Milo.

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